At the moment, there are still quite a few issues with your piece, which will make it difficult to give it a mark above 35 (top L2):
00:00 - the idents are fine 00:16 - a key problem with some of the shots is the rain on the camera lens. Although there's nothing you can do about this, I will have to take it into account. I can give you credit for some interesting angles, although you don't really demonstrate a range of shots - you tend to focus on CU and MLS, which is quite limited 00:44 - the producer credit here is in the wrong place - you would be better advised to put "a film by [Director's name]" here 00:51 - the audio during the conversation between Cross and the other detectve is too quiet. Also, the framing of these shots is a little out. The shots are held a little too long 01:04 - I don't see why you've included the still CM1 38 - is this a phone box (hard to see) 01:10 - you could do with tidying up the audio when cutting between shots (there is a noticable hiss on the shot of Cross which vanishes when you cut to the other detective). The mise-en scene is good - I can give you credit for that 01:17 - there is noticable camera noise at times. Nothing much you can do about that. Some of the camera-work is shaky; you may wish to include in your research that you were going for a more verite/ documentary quality (this might also mitigate the rain on the lens mentioned earlier) 01:20 - some of the shots are too dark and appear to be out of focus. In particular, the shot at 01:26 is almost impossible to make out - is this deliberate? 01:41 - there is a slight discontinuity in terms of the lighting - the setting appears to have got darker 02:00 - it takes a little too long for the v/O to kick in. Also, the V/O volume is way too quiet. I would also be tempted to underscore the V/O with the theme music (an instrumental section, if there is one). The shots during the montage are also very dark. 02:36 - it also takes too long for the credits to kick in 03:13 - I'm not sure where the title of the actual film is...?
If you're going to get it into Level 3, you still have a lot of work to do. Let me know if you need any help with the editing.
At the moment, there are still quite a few issues with your piece, which will make it difficult to give it a mark above 35 (top L2):
ReplyDelete00:00 - the idents are fine
00:16 - a key problem with some of the shots is the rain on the camera lens. Although there's nothing you can do about this, I will have to take it into account. I can give you credit for some interesting angles, although you don't really demonstrate a range of shots - you tend to focus on CU and MLS, which is quite limited
00:44 - the producer credit here is in the wrong place - you would be better advised to put "a film by [Director's name]" here
00:51 - the audio during the conversation between Cross and the other detectve is too quiet. Also, the framing of these shots is a little out. The shots are held a little too long
01:04 - I don't see why you've included the still CM1 38 - is this a phone box (hard to see)
01:10 - you could do with tidying up the audio when cutting between shots (there is a noticable hiss on the shot of Cross which vanishes when you cut to the other detective). The mise-en scene is good - I can give you credit for that
01:17 - there is noticable camera noise at times. Nothing much you can do about that. Some of the camera-work is shaky; you may wish to include in your research that you were going for a more verite/ documentary quality (this might also mitigate the rain on the lens mentioned earlier)
01:20 - some of the shots are too dark and appear to be out of focus. In particular, the shot at 01:26 is almost impossible to make out - is this deliberate?
01:41 - there is a slight discontinuity in terms of the lighting - the setting appears to have got darker
02:00 - it takes a little too long for the v/O to kick in. Also, the V/O volume is way too quiet. I would also be tempted to underscore the V/O with the theme music (an instrumental section, if there is one). The shots during the montage are also very dark.
02:36 - it also takes too long for the credits to kick in
03:13 - I'm not sure where the title of the actual film is...?
If you're going to get it into Level 3, you still have a lot of work to do. Let me know if you need any help with the editing.